Having a different identity after having my daughter Penelope was probably the biggest aspect of motherhood that I was not prepared for. It wasn’t waking up in the middle of the night, breastfeeding for four years (yeah.. I know its not normal, feel free to leave me a comment) or the unknowns of how to raise a child. It was the fact that I had no idea who I was anymore or how I could incorporate being a “Mommy” into my life.
I don’t think I am the only one who feels this way. A lot of women don’t feel like themselves after having a baby. As a young mom at 22, I was being pulled in so many different directions. I was working in a corporate environment, raising a child by myself but I also wanted to feel sexy!
So anyway, on to the list. Here are the 3 ways you can reclaim your identity after baby:
- Dress how you want
- Saggy boobs, stretch marks, weird old belly button piercing? Wear that crop top you’ve been eye-ing on FashionNova! or Lane Bryant, Loft, Target, whatever! Once, I had a previous boyfriend tell me “don’t try to be someone you’re not” because I wanted to wear a crop top. HELLO..if anyone is a crop top, it’s me. Dressing the way you want will make you feel like yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t be sexy and a mom.
- Do what feels right to YOU
- Toxic relationships with friends, family or your significant other (maybe its your lame ass baby dad..Just me? Alright fine. I am the only one with a lame ass baby dad) Cut them off, cut them out, cut them up, however you need to do it. Just get the toxicity out of your life. If you can’t fully remove the toxicity, limit your exposure to those you only create drama for you.
- Join the class you want, start a blog, join a yoga class, become a yoga instructor, marry the rich older guy down the street, whatever you want, do it. You won’t regret trying but you will regret not doing the things you want to be doing later.
- Leave your house – Sounds simple enough right?
- I had a c section in 2014 and wasn’t “allowed” to drive for two weeks. About 5 days in, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slapped on some makeup (highly recommend Makeup Forever) and put on some cute pants and went for a drive. Surprisingly, I felt a lot better just getting out of the house. Changing your environment can really change your mindset, especially if you are struggling with the baby blues!
- Find your tribe of friends and go out without your baby. Trust me!
What I thought Moms looked like:
What motherhood actually looks like to me:
A lot of moms, including myself, don’t feel like themselves after having a baby. We are sold this idea of how moms should act, talk, dress and behave. The thing is, I am still myself, I just have a kid now. I think it is important to be true and authentic to yourself so your children can see that modeled. It is completely OK to be yourself after having a baby.
Let me know in the comments below if you struggled with being yourself after having a baby.
And just for fun, here is a picture of my little doll baby, Penelope.