Dating/Sex · Mental Health

#MeToo

Full disclosure, I am afraid to write this. I still somewhat blame myself.

I was 13 when I met you. You were a friend of my brother. You were a close family friend with a girl I hung out with. People trusted you, people thought you were fine. But you’re not.

You touched me and I thought I could get pregnant from just your hands. That is how young I was. You touched me before I shaved any part of myself. You touched me before I got to have any normal sexual experience with someone my own age.

You blackmailed me. You made me take naked pictures of myself. You told me if I didn’t, you’d send the pictures you already had to my parents. You even made me take pictures when I was on a family vacation in New York City. You made me not trust men for years.

When I was 19, I got a message from someone letting me know that a child pornography website was made and my pictures were on it. You, or someone you know, did this. I had to file a police report and look at naked pictures of myself at 13. You robbed me of innocence.

You didn’t just do this to me. You did it to a friend of mine. You did it to several girls in my town. My only regret is not testifying against you when I had the chance. I should have. I should have stood up for myself but I don’t think I was strong enough yet.

I didn’t make eye contact during sex until I was 25. I used sex as a way to cope with anxiety, depression and low self esteem for 10 years.

You did this to me.

I am strong enough now to understand that everything you did to me was not my fault. You are the psycho. You are the one that manipulates young girls. You are the sick one.

I am stronger than you. I get to live my life free. You are a registered sex offender. You can’t work at certain businesses and can only live with your parents. I get to do whatever I want.

I win.

 

 

13 thoughts on “#MeToo

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