Dating in 2018 is like searching for a purple unicorn in a field of dirty, tired, injured and horny farm animals.
One of the major topics I talk with my therapist about is dating. We talk about significant relationships in my life and how they impact me today. We talk about who I am currently seeing and what type of person I would like to date. My therapist is young so she completely understands dating in 2018. But add in single parenting to dating in 2018 and its even more challenging.
“Dating is a risk. It’s a risk to put yourself out there to be vulnerable” – My Therapist
Below are a couple of tips on dating in 2018
How to meet people:
First of all, how does anyone meet besides dating apps? Not sure. I can’t imagine. I highly suggest Bumble and Tinder because you have to match with the person before you or they can message you. Plenty of Fish is awful and so is Match for the simple fact that the person can continue to message you over and over again. (HELLO, take a hint. very uninterested).
After you’ve matched on a dating site, pick a time and day to meet in public. Wallah, maybe you found your husband/wife (probably not but maybe..).
Dealing with heartbreak:
I recently go out of a relationship where I felt like most of our lives were intertwined. I felt like this relationship could lead to marriage. Well, for a few reasons it didn’t work out but for a few weeks after, I was devastated.
Tips for getting over heartbreak with kids:
- Take a shower. This person doesn’t want you and maybe nobody else will if you stink. AND taking a shower will help clear your mind.
- Throw yourself into a passion project. I started blogging, working on my instagram, hiking on trails, spending more time with my kiddo and dating other people.
- Write about it.
- Ask a friend to watch your children for a night or two so you can cry on the couch by yourself and watch Lifetime (for real though, this helps)
- Talk to a friend about it.
- Immerse yourself into a book.
Introducing your kiddos:
This is a hot topic in the realm of single parenting. When to introduce your kids to the new person in your life? I don’t think there is any right answers to this. Sometimes, you meet the person while you’re out with your kids, so bam, they already met. Sometimes the kids walk downstairs when they were supposed to be sleeping and bam now they met. Sometimes you plan it all out after 6 months of dating, have them meet at a restaurant, everything goes right for a month then your significant other turns out to be a serial killer. THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER.
Do what feels right to you. If you want to see how the person you are dating acts around your children, introduce them. If you think its best to wait a bit, then do that. I think it is important to explain to kids early that dating is risk and sometimes it doesn’t work out and that is OK.
I think it is important to talk with those friends and family members who have elected themselves judges of your life. Don’t let them make you feel guilty for dating as a single parent. It is important to live your life and do things that you want to do.
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