The seminars consisted of doing things like beating taped up towels on the ground for upwards of 20 minutes in the dark, standing in small groups and sharing our emotions about our parents and then at the end, staff would choose a character (mine was Cyndi Lauper) for us to emulate and then we would dance in a circle being our “magical child”.
Before you read this two part letter series, go check out my earlier post about my experience at boarding school in 2006. You can check it out Here and you can check out my experience with presenting this story to a crowd last month here
I wanted to release this letter yesterday but I got caught up with the midterm election’s and taking Penelope for her 4 year old checkup. You know how life is..busy!
I brought this letter home from my mother’s home about a year ago. But I didn’t read it until Monday night. I don’t know what I was waiting for but something told me not to read it for a while. When I finally read it, it brought up a lot of things for me. First of all, I forgot how I felt at 15. Now, at almost 27 (my birthday is tomorrow!) I project how I feel now with what I felt then.
But in this letter, my true emotions show. Secondly, it is important to note that within this letter, I am writing it about a seminar that I attended and my opinions in this letter are reflective of trying to move up in levels within the program. The opinions and emotions in this letter are not completely reflective of how I felt, but more of a way to “work the program and get out quickly”.
I debated if I should write out the letter or upload pictures of the handwritten document. I went with handwritten so you can see my girlish doodles of hearts (LOL).
To say that this place was toxic, would be an understatement. I was forced to explain my behaviors and feelings that blamed myself and only myself. I was forced to outline the ways that I am bad or hurtful to everyone around me and how I would change these behaviors. In order to get to new levels of the program, you had to admit these things. You had to make your family, group leaders and peers believe that you were the problem.
Stay Tuned for part two coming later this week!