Mental Health · Uncategorized

Gaslighting. What is THAT?

Have you ever been told you are crazy over and over again by a significant other, a parent, a family member or a friend? Or ANYONE? Only to realize later that your expectations of how people should treat you or how you live your life doesn’t make you crazy.. Yeah, that is called gaslighting.

Gaslighting in a relationship

Is someone gaslighting you??

When someone is gaslighting you they are manipulating you into thinking you are losing your sanity. It is completely psychologically damaging and controlling.

I have someone in my life that does this constantly. This person shall remain umm..somewhat anonymous. This person feels like it is his right to tell me that I am insane for cutting off certain members of my family. He shouts and screams at me and tells me that he is “worried” about me because I take an antidepressant. This person has tried to control me for years.

When I say “my perception of my adolescence was ____.” He says that my adolescence was great and I made decisions to make it horrible. He says that I was a horrible kid and they all did what was best for me. He says that I am an overly sensitive embarrassment. He says that I am not a victim. He says that I blame everyone else for my problems. He tries to get me to question myself.

The problem is, I know longer let this person to have any control over my life and that drives him into a frenzy. I believe the actual problem is that he doesn’t want to see me doing well or standing up for myself. He wants to see me as if I was still a teenager and upset with how he is treating me. When he starts his rants as if he is a board certified psychiatrist, I don’t listen. When he tries to make me feel like shit for doing what is best for me and my family, I reach out to someone who I know supports me.

Top Tips for Dealing With A Gaslighter:

  1. Get away from them. Block them. Limit your time with them. Because this person is likely a narcissist, they won’t understand why you are upset by their behavior, but you could try to tell them in a very logical way why you are no longer wanting a friendship/relationship.
  2. Confide in someone you care about what they are saying to you. You should not keep this behavior a secret. It is not your fault that they act like this. Getting support from a friend will definitely help!
  3. Move on. Find friends that support you and nurture your wellness. Toxicity is not just a part of life you have to get used to. You get to decide who you spend time with, even if this person is family.

 

Curious about Part 2 of my boarding school letter? Well..I am working on it. It is taking a bit of editing to get it right! Stay tuned and re-read my post Me at 15, a letter from boarding school

In the mood for something deeply personal and authentic? Check out to of my stories:

#LoveDoesn’tHurt

Traumatic Boarding School Experience: Full Story

6 thoughts on “Gaslighting. What is THAT?

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