I can totally admit to being the “yelling” parent sometimes. I also can admit that I don’t like being this type of parent. Occasionally, I lose my shit and scream “PUT YOUR SHOES ON” after asking nicely 7 times prior.
I get it. Being the screaming parent isn’t fun for you or your kids.
When I finally lose my shit it is a combination between trying to get my daughter to finally complete a task and my anxiety.
Anxiety can look completely different between people. While I get anxious in some situations, you may not be anxious in at all.
I have been diagnosed with panic disorder and PTSD. Typically, this looks like racing heartbeat, very quiet, nail picking, racing thoughts, tidying up the house quickly and not being able to sit still (or on the flip side, feeling like I can’t move). When I am in this state and my child asks me to get her a snack or jumps on my lap, my senses are heightened and it can feel like she is screaming at me. This is why getting your anxiety and panic disorder treated is very important.
High Anxiety Situations..For Me:
I tend to get worked up when I have been out of the house all day and haven’t had a moment to myself.
My anxiety rises when someone says “We need to talk” or requests an out of the blue meeting.
I have anxiety within romantic relationships and I tend to think everyone is lying to me, constantly.
I have anxiety regarding friendships and coworkers. I tend to think people are mad at me constantly.
I get anxiety when I have a lot going on and I am under a time constraint (Trying to get my kid to eat breakfast, put her shoes on, drink my coffee, let the dog out, get in the car, be on time to work)!!!
Here are my quick tips for managing your anxiety while raising your kiddos:
1. Set a routine and stick to it. Setting a routine will keep you and your kids focused and on track. Deviating from the routine can create chaos and anxiety for yourself.
2. Make time for yourself, everyday. I cannot stress this enough. You want to set aside at least an hour for yourself everyday. For me, this is after my daughter has gone to bed or before she gets up. I think it is worth it to stay up a bit later to squeeze in some “me time”. I have found that when I do this, I have less anxiety and panic attacks. If you do need a break, don’t feel bad for removing yourself for 15-30 minutes (giving your child time to read or watch tv) and do something for yourself. Deep breathing, quick yoga, journaling, coloring or taking a shower can really help change your mindset.
3. Fill yourself with positivity and logical answers. This may be a hard one for some, but try to look on the bright side when you’re feeling down or anxious. For me, this looks like giving my mind an answer when I feel like the world is spinning. Example: “What if I am late to work because my daughter won’t put her shoes on, then because I am late, I get fired” So to this I would give my mind an answer “Likely, If I were late, I could explain to my boss that I was late because my daughter was not cooperating. If I were to get fired, I could find another job.”
4. Explain to your kiddos that nobody is perfect. While I hate being the screaming mama or the mad mama, I do explain to my daughter that sometimes everyone gets mad and that is okay, but it is important to apologize and work on looking for better solutions.
5. Seek help. Seeking help can look different to everyone. For me, at first, this looked like reaching out to friends and being honest about my anxiety. One thing that ultimately encouraged me to get help was when I was reaching out to friends often, they kept telling me how “not normal” my severity of anxiety was. This was VERY helpful to me because it pushed me to seek professional help. For some, seeking help might be hiring a babysitter once a week to be able to grab a coffee with a friend. For others, this may look like confiding in their family about their struggles. Either way, speaking up will release you from your shame and help you release you aren’t alone.
Resources To Help:
Are there things that you find helpful in managing your anxiety or other mental health issues while raising kids? Let me know in the comments below!