You’ve probably heard that one small change in your life can impact all the other aspects of your life, right? For instance, working out can make you want to eat healthier (or so they say). I am very body positive and against classifying foods as healthy and unhealthy, you can read about it here.
Anyway, you’ve heard this. I am sure of it!
Back in November of 2017, I began seeing a therapist. I used the Employee Assistance Program through my previous employer. I received three free sessions with a licensed counselor of my choosing (that participated in the program) I received a list of names and immediately started googling the therapists. That is when I found..Camille. Now, I pay out of pocket to the tune of $100 an hour for therapy about twice a month. Worth it? Completely. I have referred several friends to my Camille and I think she is ABSOLUTELY FAB.
Oh Camille, I know that if I told you that you changed my life that your response would be “No, YOU changed your life.” Sometimes, I get a little emotional thinking about my therapist because she has allowed me to break down so many barriers and really challenge myself to be better in so many ways. If you’re interested in how my therapist basically told me to get a life, you can read that here.
If you’d like to search for your own therapist, check out PsychologyToday
So there I was, in my therapists office discussing my life story, painful memories, feelings of abandonment, depression, anxiety and mostly relationship struggles. AKA why did I feel unbearably anxious when my boyfriend didn’t text me in the morning? Why do I feel out of control and can’t breathe when I run into an ex at the bar? Why do I feel like I can’t let go of people that do not serve me? Why do I feel like even when a man is telling me he loves me, he is lying to me? My main focus was how my life was in chaos now and how I wanted to immediately feel better. While my therapist and I agreed that we could unpack some of these things one item at a time, I could simultaneously work on self worth, reducing my anxiety, hone in on coping skills and fill my time with other shit besides MEN. So I did.
It is has been quite a journey. It has not been easy. Sometimes it is boring. Sometimes it is very fulfilling. Some days, I am super depressed. Check out my total sad girl post. Other days, I feel euphoric. And most of the time, I feel balanced, which is the ultimate goal..right? According to my psychiatrist euphoria on Pristiq is common the first few months but I cannot strive for this constantly (LOL..but please? Please make this an all the time thing??)
To me, therapy watered my grass (not literally and not sexually) for me to be able to thrive in society. Combined with medication, I feel like a brand new person. Sure, I have regrets of not getting help sooner but knowing what is possible for my life motivates me to live in the present. Again, IT IS NOT EASY. I work hard every day, within the confines of my own mind, to feel better and whole. I do not share all my failures and I do not share all my triumphs. I share what will be helpful to myself and what will be helpful to others.
I saw a therapist, then a psychiatrist, then I started making all these changes to my life. The power of one choice changed the trajectory of my life and I am sure it can for yours as well.
So, think about it for a few minutes.
How could you blossom if you made just one small change?
What do you talk yourself out of?
What do you wish you did ten years ago?
What are you preventing yourself from doing out of fear of what other people will think?
What are you holding back?
Are you sharing your talents or worried that you will fail?
If not now, then when?
Pick a choice that would allow you to blossom:
- Seeing a therapist
- Seeing a psychiatrist
- Unpacking trauma
- Leaving a toxic work environment
- Pursuing a dream career path
- Going back to school
- Daily meditation
- Moving to a new city
- Making a new friend
- Adopting a pet (preferably a cat if you are a total sad girl. Dogs are also a lot of responsibility)
- Travelling alone
- Making time for yourself once a week
- Start a new hobby
- Saying “no” more
- Saying “yes” more
- Starting a blog
- Splitting with someone you don’t love
- Dating a different “type” of person than you normally would
- Following your dream of XYZ
Who do you want to be?
What is holding you back?
Stay tuned for Part 2 where I’ll be discussing getting through the hard days of choosing your “one thing” and sticking to a schedule for your life so that it will ultimately heal you.