I talked about this on Instagram a few weeks ago but I haven’t written about it. I am dating again (YASSS!) I am aware that I said I was taking a 6 month break but in true to me fashion, I decided to end that early around 3 months. You can read my original post the next 6 months.
Well, here’s the thing. I think the misconception around my dating life is that my therapist doesn’t think that I should be dating, when in reality, my therapist encourages to me to do things that challenge me. When I told my therapist that I wanted to take a 6 month break, she wasn’t like “Oh yeah, good idea, maybe actually do 2 years” she was more like “Well, if that is what you wanna do, that is great, we can work on you.” After I kept talking about this break it became clear that I wasn’t doing the break thing for me fully but I was also just really scared to get back out there and have my time wasted and get hurt.
So that being said, I have decided that it is time to continue to meet people and date.
Most of my anxiety and PTSD symptoms come up within dating relationships. How will I ever move past these things if I decide to be alone? I have to practice within my friendships and within dating relationships or I will be stuck in the same thought patterns forever. How will I have normal sexual experiences with men if I am afraid of them?
Other things have changed too. Over the last several months I have spent a lot of time alone and it has been very refreshing. A man will not complete my life, my life is already complete. I don’t feel like I am missing something, I am just searching for someone to add additional happiness. In the past men were my solution to a void, now I feel like I don’t have a void and I just want a partner.
How do you practice?
Well, its a lot of practicing around cognitive distortions and replacing scary-negative-extreme thoughts into positive or just neutral thoughts. It is practicing replacing thoughts like:
“He didn’t call because he is out with someone else”
“He didn’t call because he is possibly doing something else with his time just like I am.”