This isn't me but I was too lazy to find my own photo so here is a stock photo of a woman loving herself. Self hate can look like a lot of different things, right? It could be stifling your creativity, it could be self harm, it could be not getting the help that you… Continue reading How I Started To Love Myself
I have been "in" therapy since November 2017. Now that I am thinking about it, I don't think I have ever consistently seen a provider for this long. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I absolutely love my therapist, Camille. Is she my person? Yes. If I told her… Continue reading Why I Still Go To Therapy Even Though I “Feel Better”
"Well, if you hadn't been such a fuck up, your life wouldn't be this way now." "I really think you should stop writing about your personal life on the internet." "Why would you change your hair?" "You shouldn't be dating as a mom." "If you lose weight, you will find a husband more easily." "Don't… Continue reading Incapable of Support
Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life "You're an inspiration" "You are so talented" "You inspire me to talk about my own mental health" "You're happiness is contagious" "You are absolutely hilarious" or my personal favorite "Please sex chat me" Yeah.. and I am wildly depressed sometimes and other times I am… Continue reading Blossoming Part 2: The Tougher Days
You've probably heard that one small change in your life can impact all the other aspects of your life, right? For instance, working out can make you want to eat healthier (or so they say). I am very body positive and against classifying foods as healthy and unhealthy, you can read about it here. Anyway,… Continue reading Blossoming Part 1: How One Thing Can Change Your Life
"Who even am I anymore???" You've seen it. The constant memes, posts, t shirts, mugs, backpacks, bumper stickers and all kinds of other shit with "Mom" on it in some way or another. There are the nonstop posters on Instagram where EVERY post is about motherhood. I ask them in my head "what about YOU?"… Continue reading Who are you besides a mom?
The thing is, nobody can answer this question. Not me, not my therapist, not any of my friends. I think the hardest thing is that nobody truly knows how I feel. Nobody knows that sometimes its hard to get out of bed and already be tearing up between walking to my bed and the bathroom… Continue reading When will I feel better?
I talk a lot about feeling like I am frozen in time. I feel like my emotions are sometimes that of an adolescent girl. Sure, I feel like I am an adult, there is no doubt about that. But, when it comes to feeling alone, abandoned and emotional, I feel like a young teenager. I… Continue reading Part 2: What would I say to my 14 year old self if I could?
When I think about my life, I think about it in phases or segments. Its compartmentalized to different years like before I moved to Houston or after I was sent to boarding school or after I had consensual sex. I don't think of my life as a fluid progression. I almost feel like a different… Continue reading Part 1: So, just tell me about middle school then
Recently (Yes, like 5 days ago) I decided that the long distance love thing wasn't working for me. When I think about a relationship or getting to know someone, I think about doing the most normal things together but they feel like magic. Like, going to the farmer's market or after sex Netflix binge watching.… Continue reading The Next 6 Months